Deadbeat Don, the Lyin' Con
- Lying Ted Cruz is no more a liar than any other politician. Which is damning with faint praise, but true. Compared to the lies of Deadbeat Don, Senator Cruz is a freaking saint.
- Little Marco Rubio. Perhaps small in stature but admittedly large in presence. You have to be to become a U.S. Senator. They don't give this job away - unless your name is Kennedy, that is.
- Low energy Jeb Bush? A remarkably pedestrian appellation, the product of an equally pedestrian mind. Low energy? Think of the energy Jeb needs to keep up with his mother, Barbara "Get the H*** out of my way" Bush.
- Crooked Hillary Clinton? Well, no more or less a crook than any other politician. According to various fact checking websites, the level of truthfulness in her statements is more than four times greater than Deadbeat Don's. Which isn't saying much.
- Crazy Bernie Sanders? Runs a brilliant political campaign that will be the model of excellence in PolySci 101 for the rest of time, and yet, DD wants Bernie's supporters to vote for him after calling their adored guru crazy? Crazy based on what? A bad haircut? At least it's not a comb over.
- Psychopath Ben Carson? Despite being a brain surgeon Ben seems no rocket scientist - but a psychopath? Not even close.
What is most annoying is that DD's names for other people lack imagination, panache or logic. They, frankly, are simple minded, raising serious questions about DD's intellect or lack thereof. "I went to Wharton Business School," DD might object. So, Bush II went to Yale, and while pleasantly smart and a bit of an apple-polisher, he iss no intellectual nor a genius.
A truly inventive invective nickname should have some flair and be based on a characteristic of the person being named. You know: Hammerin' Hank Aaron. The Sultan of Swat - Babe Ruth. That sort of thing. DD's nicknames are lame. And he has claimed in the press that he works hard on them. Hard? How about hardly?
Well, unlike the names Deadbeat Don gives his opponents, this blog is factually named.
Deadbeat Don, the Lyin' Con is based on three irrefutable facts.
- Donald Trump is a deadbeat, defined as someone who won't pay his just bills despite having the money to do so.
- According to Warren Buffet, Donald Trump is considered by other billionaires as a conman, hence "con".
- Finally, according to various fact checking service websites, Deadbeat Don averages a lie every five minutes in his speeches, which is perversely impressive.
But wait, there's more: the best nicknames are alliterative - Hammering Hank - and often are of two snappy lines that rhyme, if only sorta.
So, Deadbeat Don - a little alliteration - the Lyin' Con - two lines rhyming.